Welcome to “Is It Well worth the Excessive?”, the place our writers see newly launched films, hearken to the newest album drops, and check out different experiences whereas excessive to find out whether or not they’re value your time, cash, and most significantly, your hashish buzz. This week, Dante Jordan hits up a perennial summer season exercise: amusement parks. Was his excessive well worth the screams and thrills or is it higher to remain residence and chill?
Excessive Skilled (1-10): 10; I used to be smoking all the time I used to be there
After I was a toddler, there have been few issues I loved greater than amusement parks. I simply couldn’t get sufficient of the curler coasters and water slides. However are they simply as enjoyable as an grownup? Effectively, I lately visited a Six Flags for my little cousin’s birthday celebration to search out out.
Some Amusement within the Rides and Noms…
Initially, when my mother instructed me that we had been going to Six Flags for my cousin’s birthday, I assumed, “Cool.” It wasn’t going to value me something however time and vitality, so I figured this is able to be an incredible alternative for some stoned out enjoyable. Little did I do know that, as an grownup, amusement parks are an absolute nightmare.
First off, let me simply say that the rides, actions, and collective sights of amusement parks are nonetheless actually enjoyable. Mr. Freeze and Batman are nonetheless top-notch coasters that’ll have your appendix shifting every kind of unnatural methods as you drop via the sky. And the carnival concessions are nonetheless scrumptious to my tum tum.
Nevertheless, the enchantment of amusement parks is FAR outweighed by the drawbacks.
…However No Amusement in Getting Value Gouged
Amusement parks are method too dear. Not solely do it’s important to pay in your admission ticket, you additionally should pay for parking. That was $65 plus $25 at Six Flags, respectively, so earlier than you even get into the door you’ve dropped about $100, and that’s only for one particular person.
Along with the dear admission, you even have the dear meals. Although every meal varies by the eating places and concession stands throughout the park, for essentially the most half every meal will hit you for about $10-$12, with snacks costing $5-$7. If you happen to’re there all day and eat a number of occasions, you’re about $150 minimal on the day. That’s rattling close to a automobile cost for some individuals.
The Ready (and the Warmth) Is the Hardest Half
It being summer season, you’re outdoors within the blistering warmth all day lengthy. As a child, you by no means cared about this as a result of the warmth by no means fazed you. However as an grownup, it’s like “Yo, is that this amusement park well worth the pores and skin most cancers I’ll certainly have by the point we go away?” Spoiler alert: it isn’t.
And the strains? Don’t get even get me began on the strains. Too late, I’m already began. Fam, we waited a complete two hours to get onto the Mr. Freeze journey. Two hours—that’s longer than a Kevin Hart film. Once more, as a child, this by no means mattered since you didn’t have anything to do together with your time. As an grownup, it’s like yo, I may’ve knocked out two episodes of Westworld on this time.
If you happen to’re spending your whole time in line for rides, you’re undoubtedly not getting your cash’s value from the park. Positive, you should purchase a Flash Move, which allows you to make journey reservations and (type of) skip strains, however that’s an additional $40 to $100, which brings the price of Six Flags, or any amusement park, to a whopping half of your lease.
Now, mix all of these points with the truth that your complete physique will get sore from the entire strolling/standing round (you’ll simply stroll no less than 5 miles all through the day), and also you’ll finish your outing feeling such as you’d slightly die than ever attend one other amusement park. It merely is method too exhausting for an grownup.
Are Amusement Parks Well worth the Excessive?
Would I counsel amusement parks as a enjoyable exercise for my fellow stoners? Completely not. They value method an excessive amount of cash (that may very well be spent at the dispensary, or, ya know, on real-life payments), you spend method too many hours standing in strains/baking within the solar, and the general exercise is method too exhausting for the brief spurts of enjoyable you expertise. Go float a river as a substitute—you continue to get a while within the solar if that’s your factor, plus it’s much less crowded and extra chill than a park crammed stuffed with noise and sweaty armpits.